StoriesLite blog

Thinking about doing something is not the same as doing it.  For instance, thinking about stealing is not stealing, thinking about dishonesty is not same as lying. Though one can lead to the other but they are not the same. Often people think about doing the right thing. The dwell on those thoughts and evaluate just the best way to do the right thing—but they never take action. Life is all about logic. Logical expressions when reasoned and put in actions become fact. If I repeat something often enough, it will become true in my mind. That's why some people who exaggerate and lie long enough begin to believe their own falsehoods as truth. Consider these : The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts. Thought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it. I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies, for the hardest victory is victory over self. Remember; out of the abundance of the heart the mouth spe

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you are trudging seems all uphil, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit. Rest if you must but don't quit. Life is strange with its twists and turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns; and many a failure turns about

Perhaps, you don't need to be convinced, but friendship offers rich rewards. Consider these comments: It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.  With the death of every friend I love a part of me has been buried, but their contribution to my being of happiness, strength and understanding remains to sustain me in an altered world.  I guess you have experienced these truths about friendship! We appreciate God for those wonderful gifts. The value of friendship extends beyond emotional closeness and connectedness. Research has shown that lonely people live significantly shorter lives than the general population. Friendship is the springboard to every other love. Friendships spill over onto the other important relationships of life. People with no friends usually have diminished capacity for sustaining any kind of love. They tend to go through a succession of marriages, be estranged from various family members, and have trouble getting along at wo

This early morning news shocked me. One of our neighbours who just got married last year had issues with his wife. Prior to Austin's settling down with Sophia, he had been trading on latest and hottest ladies in town; dark and fair, skinny/fat and slim, beautiful and ugly that at times people wonder if he actually had a choice. He thought that the taste of a real woman is between her legs but NO! Because in spite of the large number of women he was crushing with he was never

Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, not until they have something to forgive. The best moment of avenging ourself is by not resembling him who has injured us. The weak can never forgive, forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Don't carry grudge. While you are carrying the grudge, the other is out there for merry. There is no point in burying the hatchet, if you are going to put up a marker on

Perhaps it's time you had a talk with yourself... The teacher does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind - so must each of you develop your own knowledge and your own understanding. We need a healthy appreciation of those who exercise the free man's option for excellence. Most people are very careful about how they talk to others. They apparently are

If you want to produce other leaders, you need to mentor them. The mentoring process for developing leaders works in a similar way as this; in hospital emergency rooms, nurses have a saying here it's all about- (watch one, do one, teach one) That simply refers to the need to learn a technique quickly, jump right in and do it with a patient and then turn around and pass it to another nurse. Same occur in mentoring process. It happens when you take potential leaders under your wing, develop them, empower them, share with them how to become persons of influence, and then release them to go out and raise up other leaders. Every time you do that, you plant seeds for greater success. Remember this: Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant. However, one of the greatest things about becoming a person of influence  is that you actually get to see the lives of others change before your eyes. What it takes to become a person of influence- to positively

These will help you know when she needs your reassurance Sudden arguments: for seemingly nothing or from nowhere, your partner (she) presents some sort of conflict. Which will cause you to ask, "where did that come from" perhaps after all you thought everything was just going fine. Trying to escape: you are upset right or you just want time alone. That's normal for males, but when you do this, trying to have your quiet time, she will emerge from nowhere, she will be

Unlocking the secret of how to give your mate emotional security is a lot easier than satisfying her secondary need of financial security. Men tend to think that because they perceive that their relationship is going well, so do their partner. But that's wrong! Men rate their relationships higher than their partners. You need to get with the program. And part of that program is letting her know she is loved. Every man should know that that's the number one assurance his

Let's look at it this way, men are performers who feel they must have an acceptable level of production to be fulfilled. And as a performer, a man is competitive and goal oriented  as well. Also as initiator he is exposed to risk and failure as a result of it, they are often defensive (domineering prone) in his relationships, with his wife in marriage it's rampant. For a man, long term relationships are risky because they expose his weaknesses, thereby making him

Men and women detailed analysis of body differences: the man's pelvis is narrow; the woman's pelvis is broad for childbearing The skin of a man wrinkles later in life than a woman's skin . And men are often physically aroused by visual stimuli; women are usually aroused by touch, caresses and affection . " Click on " .   At times she can be aroused by sensitive words which softens her heart and freezes her body.  Note  at this time carefulness is

Men have difficulty understanding women's intuition, often thinking that women are too sensitive. But there is iota of truth in it. To understand more of what we are talking about, see also " Differences ". Women can better sense the difference between what people say and what they mean. They are more perceptive than men about the meaning of feelings. "women are carriers of feelings" And women are also more perceptive

The construction of the brain, yes let's start with the psychological aspect, the construction of the brain and the way it works. Differences in the way the brain is organized, suggest different ways of thinking and learning. The male brain is specialized- he uses one side for solving spatial problems, the other side he uses for defining a word or verbalizing a problem. The female brain : the female brain is not so specialized for some functions

Beauty can simply be defined as those qualities " unique " that other people find interesting, admirable and attractive, though must not be sedative attraction or seduction, abuse of facial

A reservation for your leadership spot is already on file and the deposit is paid. A place has been secured for you and your leadership spot is already reserved. Leadership is a divine deposit not just a power depot to intimidate others. Every human being was conceived by divine prerogative to deliver a gift of service to humanity. By divine decree or providential decree. Providence has placed in every person a packaged gift that no human gave him

All you need to succeed or get ahead in life is to catch the tail of an idea not the whole detail. This is because you may not always get the detail. I have observed that most people get ahead during the time others waste, the reason why many have lost out in the midst of opportunities is because they have been waiting to get the detail before acting. It is good to know that success ideas are always coming from the world of breakthroughs every passing second

You can never stumble into success while sitting and wishing and doing nothing. NO, it's not done that way. You have to be on the move, doing something meaningful daily, while you trust God for a mega breakthrough. Successful people don't just wish, they act, start working! Counting your dreams without definite steps taken to actualize them is mocking yourself. If you are not making impact you are possibly resting too much . Do you know that Poverty is usually

You have to change your beliefs about yourself to unearth that trapped leader, the seed of greatness born in you and your area of gifting. Until you discover yourself, however, self doubt will contaminate your attitude. You cannot fake having confidence. That comes from understanding yourself- by self- discovery. You can read a thousand positive- thinking books and still think negatively. Yes!  When you know who you are, you automatically keep everyone else in

The greatest offence you can ever commit against your own destiny and future generations is the refusal to engage your mind in productive thoughts. Remember : who engages his mind in productive thoughts will not only be on top but over the top.  You really have to decide right now that you should not live in this world and die as an observer or just a consumer, but let it be as a producer. Decide it today that the world will someday celebrate and enjoy at least one of the

If you don't put your mind to work nothing commendable will happen. Nothing will be held back from you if only you imagine it and set your mind to do it. For the wonders of technology today, somebody first imagined it and thereafter set his or her mind to do and actually did it. Same here, if you can also imagine it and do it, you can achieve it. Always put your mind to work. Productive minds must be void of distractions and interferences. If you can put your mind to work, you can break through limitations and

You can't think poor and become rich: This is why you should monitor your thoughts. If all you do is to think about failure or unfortunate situations like death, sickness, poverty etc all day long, you might just see it manifest in reality someday. It is very difficult to think impossibilities and see possibilities. That which you accept as a thought and consistently dwell upon in your mind, is what you will eventually see in your life. Your thoughts power your life. We see what we are prepared to see. Your encounters in life are a function of your mindsets. Your life experiences are patterned after your daily thoughts.

Your thoughts creates your physical reality and establishes your code of action and reaction. Your thoughts rule or govern  your world. Do you know that you can never remain poor if you evolve a rich mind that exercises itself in great thoughts. Money is the tangible reality of an intangible reality of your thoughts. Once your thought creates the picture of a thing, you can begin to handle it if you don't throw it away through unbelief. Mind you devil is not your

You cannot step over and above your present challenges or limitations until you engage your mind in a creative and productive/ innovative thinking process. Once your mind is made up in the right direction, the quality of your life begins to step up also in the right direction automatically. If you don't like the harvest of experience that you are reaping today, then you must watch the seeds of thoughts that you are allowing to take root on the soil of your mind. The

These are ways you can handle rejection: Avoid self scorn:  Don't keep blaming yourself for who you are. Always accept and appreciate your personality. Self scorn means rejecting self, so avoid it. Always accept fate and stay focus. Create great self image:  Remember that it's good thinking, good product.  Avoid scattered thinking. Once you are focused you won't get distracted. You need to learn to focus your thoughts on a specific issue at a time and same time

Rejection is only a visitor in your life. It comes and goes. Having much experience to share with you on rejection- I will start by saying this "anyone who doesn't experience or hasn't experienced rejection has not started. Such person would be referred to as a new born baby on earth. It's great people that experience and suffer rejection the most. That's to prove to you that rejection is part of growth because it strengthens you to thread on the part of success. In life the greatest tragedy is

I traveled to inyishi, Ota Ikeduru in Owerri on Saturday for a ceremony. When we boarded Mitsubishi. It was an interesting journey but something kept happening. Before we could reach Owerri, Nazi pack our driver had given money to soldiers on checking points for more than ten times. And I asked myself how will Nigeria be better? When will Nigeria be better? I answered myself "Nigeria couldn't have been better than this". One interesting thing about Nigerians is

Help them to know that successful people face more problems than unsuccessful people : the misconception that successful people have achieved because they didn't have problems- but that's not true. Not only do people overcome obstacles to become successful but even after they have achieved a level of success they continue to face problems. The bad news is that the higher people go either personally or professionally- the more complicated life gets. Then schedules

They are always on my nerves. Making passes at me. I can't resist them. They always tell me it doesn't hurt. They keep on exploiting me while I keep extorting money from them. I need the

Be positive: It's very easy to be negative. By nature most people seem to go to the negative. It takes mental discipline to react to life in a positive frame of mind. We need wisdom for this to happen in us anyway. But we also have to know that wisdom, understanding and knowledge don't just fall out of the sky. We not only pray we must make the necessary sacrifices to achieve them and accomplish our goal in life. The only inheritance that a man will leave that has eternal value is his

Let's start this way- when your creator pours His life into you, He also not only refreshes you but blesses you, then you must understand that He has a greater purpose than just your own welfare. People will start flocking around you. See " a navigator " . Then at that time what's expected of you is to open your heart to them and pour into them the truth. See also  " mentor ". Always open your heart to them and pour into them the truth which you have received.

Chief Okochi was dancing at the market place this afternoon," said Ogbuji. "I said I saw Okochi at the high chief's compound this evening singing for the high chief and elders in council," testified Okwu. "You are all liars. Is it Okochi you are talking about? I saw him a while ago discussing with Mboria at the river border that separates Umutum from Owe village, said Ogazi. "I know myself, I am a man of affluence and..." Okochi stammered. Ogbuji, Okwu and Ogazi were then looking at him. "affluence and what?" Okwu asked. "You lack integrity Okochi. You can't wine and dine with our enemies, those who deny us of our freedom and still stand here to talk to us," Ogazi was infuriated. "but you can do whatever you want but the Oboko clan must be freed. "Why are you old men sounding like little tots? Even the mother hen and her chicks can vindicate me from this. Your accusations are not true, am not guilty. My mother o

I can't find my charger," complained Tobe. "My cell phone is off." "What are you talking about? Relax, feel at home," said Jide. Tobe was restless that fateful night. Jide knew she was referring to

One of the tests of leadership is to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. Out of every crisis comes the chance to be reborn. What you think means more than anything else in your life. The size of the persons and the quality of their attitudes are more important than the size of any problem. Commitment gives us new power no matter what comes to us, we never

Here are some vital points to note: Integrity is your best friend. And one of the best friends that your friends will ever have. When people around you know that you are a person of integrity , they know that you want to influence them just because of the opportunity to add value to their lives. They don't have to worry about their motives that much . Unless you have tried to do something beyond what you have already mastered you will never grow. A leader discovers the hidden chasm between where things are and where things would better be and strings up a makeshift bridge to attempt the crossing . Passion and compassion are compelling motivators. Great men and women of history were great not for what they owned or earned but for what they gave their lives to accomplish. Click here No man can deliver the goods if his heart is heavier than the load. Listen with your heart and you are likely to discover the things for which others are willing to give themselves. Some

Consider and give attention to these: Take cognizance of where they need to go : it could be surprising to you how far off track some people can get when trying to reach their goals. You should know that people who have not experienced success yet often have no idea of what it takes to get from where they are to where they want to go. They keep engaging themselves into different activities simply because they don't recognize that they can take an easier path. It's your work as a navigator

What is that they wail for ? This means that you really need to identify what touches their hearts if truly you want to know where they want to go- that's their destination. To know what others are willing to give themselves always listen to your heart and sure you will discover them. What is that they make melody of ? You must know that the things that weigh people down is quite different from the things that touch their hearts.

Let me start by saying that a leader is one who sees more than others see, who sees farther than others see, and who sees before others do. Navigation has to do with movement and any movement will be progress if only it's in the direction of the destination. It's true you may already recognize much of the potentials of the people you are trying to " mentor " yet you still need to know more about them. You need to know what really matters to them what makes them

By assigning top priority to your friendship : You ask yourself, "how important is my friendship?" Why do you say you don't have time for friendship? but you find time to do other things. If you really want to do something you sure will do it. If really you want to nurture your friendship you will. It will only take time and effort because good, enduring friendships don't just happen. It takes time to build lasting friendships, yes. And you must know that the time you

Courage is doing what you are afraid to do- not taking action without feeling any fear. Courage is fear that has said its prayer. My greatest fear is, let what people believe about me not be less than what I am. Doing the impossible in face of uncertainties makes you courageous actor. Courage is resistance to fear,  mastery of fear not absence of fear. Fear is what kills you before you think of facing what you are bigger than. Give room for fear a minute of your life and face your lasting failure. Your courage is sure if you choose to overcome your fear and fight for your victory. When you are facing threatening situation implore wisdom, tackle your situation. It's better to be " confused " than allowed fear eat your sense of reasoning. One of the cancerous problem we have is that our fears bury us even before we realize that we are bigger than the problem. Fear keeps us away from solutions. The greatest fear is the ignorance of another backfiring a

Integrity is the foundation no doubt it's for loving and enduring relationships. It takes humility to live by principles of integrity. If you were loving person you would be proud of yourself for living in integrity. Integrity sustains and strengthens intimacy in relationships. With integrity in relationships it means no lie. It also means there is no hidden agenda. It also means you can be trusted and there is reliability both your words and actions must be true.

Love questions- go a long way to open hearts in a surprising way. These questions go miles to make way for intimacy. Such questions are: Are you most passionate about what? What is the most significant thing going on in your life at the moment? The best thing going on in your life is what? In your heart what is going on there? Right now what are you thinking? What is that particular thing calling you higher in your life?

A love master relish being the presence of love to everyone. Using such love skills as turning in another's heart. Asking love questions, and " listening " with empathy. To be a love master creates a powerful flow of love that nourishes others, enriches our soul, and attracts the most loving people to us. To summarize it the fastest way to meet the right love mate is to become a love master. Though it may seem like a paradox- Because a love master seeks to give not

It's amazing how quickly we can respond when power is at stake. There is one thing you must know, when you ask the wrong question like- what is the price to sit on your right and left?  You must know this, every position has a price. You don't ask for a position. When you asked, what is the cost to sit there? It's a wrong question dear, you don't ask such. Because the question is never about the position but about cost. For someone you asked such a question to prove to you the question was a

Communication breakdown the major cause of marriage failure. Good communication fastens marriage and builds intimate relationship. There is something men and women are looking for in marriage. You don't need to guess because I am here to tell you. But know this- for you to be aware of what the general needs of your mate will help you have a better communication with her. We are meant to know that men want four things- you can call it 4s- sincerity, simplicity, sensitivity and stability. While women want- you can call it A4- Attention, Agreement, Appreciation and Appointments. You can as well add this for a successful communication because it worked for a particular couple I know: Being willing to change. Knowing that it consumes effort to communicate well.  Avoid second guessing your partner- patiently wait for her to finish during communication. These are some of the reasons for communication breakdown between your partners. You may recognize one or more of the bel

We have treated many topics previously on marriage counseling and now we have to continue from where we stopped- see " Acts that show affection " This time we shall be discussing on investing in your spouse (her) It is worth it when you invest in her it will prove to be profitable and will bring lasting assets to your marriage. Here are the tips for investing in her : Tip 1: treat her with respect. Tip 2: be a good listener.

Becoming a mentor is not easy, yet it's a part that every sincere and true leader must choose to trade on. Because mentorship has to do with breeding and hatching, it has a link with nurturing- bringing out their hidden or unrealized potentials so that they can become active with proactive minds and the mentored will begin to work or operate on those potentials solely and perfectly too. When you give people the motivation so that they can grow when you don't give them the means of doing it, it is problem .

We are going to start with this statement which is common to everybody-'"power corrupts but absolute power corrupts absolutely". Nearly all men can stand adversity but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. I tell you few people in the world today have greater power and influence than the president of any highly influenced countries. Use power to help- if only we know why we are given power or what is required of anyone that has or that is in power

Remember the choice you make today will determine the kind of marriage you will having the years to come, so choose wisely, choose love for a lifetime. A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. Love is a fruit in season at all times and with reach of every hand. Anyone may gather it and no limit is set. Everyone can reach this love through meditation, spirit of prayer and sacrifice, by an intense inner life. Love cannot be forced; love cannot be

Omalicha was my cousin who got married at her teen. Nineteen is not that early anyway but no doubt she was still a teen. She was dark in complexion with round face endowed with beauty as people gave her the compliment "black is beautiful". She was very quiet and had good character. In fact, she was a "good breed". Always cheerful with sense of humane. I can testify that she had manner of etiquette. "Omalicha, Omalicha!" Nwokocha

Seriously these acts are worthwhile, try to act them today I am sure the tips are lovely, sure will help build a good relationship. When traveling, give her a rose for each day you will be away. Place a flower on her pillow. Fly a kite together. I tell you this is deeper than it sounds. Give it a deep thought. Remember to write 'I love you' on the bathroom mirror with a piece of soap. Time and effort spending are usually more appreciated than money spent. If possible write a song, pen a poem, compose a love letter, jot a love note. Give a romantic dinner out. Wash and vacuum her car until it sparkles like new one.  Wash her hair for her. She will love it. Call your wife from work just to tell her you love her. Send her a telegram as well. Very necessary, cuddle up in front of a roaring fireplace- no TV, no children, no phone Brush her hair for her. Bring home and watch her favourite video. By doing all this, you will notice that she will reciprocate, and you wi

Communication is the key to every marriage. Lack of communication is the number one cause of divorce in our recent day marriages. It's true that everyone was born with one mouth and two ears- which are the basic tools for communication. Meanwhile couples must learn how to use their mouths and ears properly for true communication to take place. I can simply put it that communication is the process- either verbal or non verbal, of sharing information with another person in such a way that he or she understands what you are saying . Talking, listening and understanding are all involved in the process of communication. There are three basic elements in proper communication: talking, listening and understanding- without these three there is no communication. It's important we look at each briefly: Talking : we are usually willing to talk but one of the problems is that most of us have little difficulty talking. We are usually willing to give an opinion or offer advice even

Recognizing and meeting these needs for one another see  " men's needs and women's needs " will mean a stronger marriage and the ability to get through the rocky times that come- though we are focusing on ways you can make a woman feel loved , so I will be skipping over the areas that concern the man, nevertheless I consider and regard their needs just as important as the needs of women. The woman feels loved when you are willing to help her out. Don't wait to be asked before you can help- just help because asking her won't be really romantic and recognized after all. And always remember to look her into the eyes and say to her, "just another way to say I love you".  Remember it's scriptural that two are better than one because they have a good return for their labour. For if either of them falls the other one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one that falls when there is no another to lift him up. Reaching out to help and acceptin

In justifying this, we are going into emotional aspect of marriage which is marriage builder. Most of us are ignorant though others are deceiving themselves but I have to clear our doubt on the controversial assertion that men and women view sex the same way. One basic difference between men and women is the way they approach and view life- and some of those differences are not hard to understand. First, the potential consequence of eros- bearing a new life- have far greater ramifications in the life of a woman. In addition the connection between eros and love is much closer and more important to women than it is to men. To women pronouncing your love for them keeps boombing their heart. They always like to be told that they are loved. The erotic revolution attempted to erase this difference; in their effort to achieve equality with men, many active women have tried to ignore their fundamental emotional needs. They have sacrificed their lives based on the lie that they should app

E xperiencing some wins together: Knowing that failure is a part of moving forward in life is not really enough. People need to believe they can win for them to really become motivated to succeed.  Try to encourage people to perform tasks or take on responsibilities which you know they can handle and perform better. Put them in a position to experience small successes just to help them believe they can achieve victory. V isualization of their future

B elieving in them before they succeed : I am sure you have noticed how many people support a sport team as soon as it starts winning. What I am saying is everyone loves a winner. It's easy to have faith in people who have already proved themselves. But yet it is tougher to believe in people before they have proved themselves. Alright don't worry yourself I will tell you that they key to motivating people to reach their potential is BELIEVING IN THEM BEFORE THEY HAVE

We have an easy time believing in people and expressing that belief but yet we realize that not everyone had the benefits of a positive upbringing. It's needful to learn how to have faith in others. Building your belief in others, you have to try using these suggestions, created. Use the initial letters of the word BELIEVE- acronym We shall look into it this way: B=believing in them before they succeed E=emphasizing their strengths before

Honourable Abu, honourable Abu!" a voice came from within. Whose voice could this be?" Abu asked. The voice came  again conspicuously. I don't think I recognize this voice, I have to wait until I confirm. "Good morning my Chairman," Bakar said as he bowed in humility. He dipped his hand in his pocket and brought out a khaki envelop and handed it to Abu. "I received this letter this morning, I thought it wise to bring it to you as the party chairman" He looked at Bakar surreptitiously and slowly opened the envelope to unfold the letter in it. It read, " In honour of your office sir, I hereby represent the voice of the people. The people are crying, they are suffering. The roads are bad. Market places are flooded. People are gnashing their teeth. This has passed recession. No job opportunities for young graduates and those with school certificate. What is our government doing?  Poverty is striking the masses, hunger and starvation increasing by t

Mind you a short story collection is quite different from anthology of fiction. The distinction is very simple: Anthology of fiction is a collection of short stories from more than one author; a short story collection is a book that contains different short stories written or composed by one author- fictive narrator. Back to the topic of today, we shall be looking at the different short stories probably going with the themes, settings, narrative techniques are likely not going to be similar- with diverse mode actually. Expect not just interesting, hilarious at times might be rip-roaring short stories(fictive) but educating and inspirational stories- enthralling. But then you have to bear with us because the stories are actually going to be coming to you in bit like a snail pace- here you go- goggle! " The tot messenger "- by Hope Mbadugha (GM)- a display of her fictive talent, your award winning fiction- can't afford to miss! Click here to see " the tot mes

Most of us are scared of confusion but you are getting it all wrong. Meanwhile don't be scared of confusion instead be ready to accept or embrace it. What you should be afraid of is, "are there really available options?" Rather you should ask questions such as; Can I get a nice option that would be decisive, realistic and at same time realizable?  How can i overcome confusion when it's driving me crazy? Don't bury your thoughts in that problem, abide by this rules to overcome your confusion: Rule 1: You need someone to talk to- Share your problems with a confidant  Rule 2: Don't just open up your problems to anyone you see around you- the available is not advisable. Rule 3: Disclose your problems by stating them clearly but succinctly- just hit the nail on the head.  Rule 4: Pick the valuable points and solutions and the chaff should be left over.  Rule 5: You have to be wise enough to know good advice. Rule 6: Don't take every suggestion, opti

These are some of the challenges of confusion; Facing numerous alternatives- Won't be able to understand the priority- At times the person ends up aimless- Feeling indecisive- Any leader who has no experience of confusion is no competent leader. A competent leader must have confused moments in order to look out for a better way to fit in adequately for the purpose of his leadership position. Every great leader when faced with challenging situations importunately seeks for solutions- at times faced with ugly situation of "I don't know what to do" "what decision is right to take to better lives of the masses" "do I choose this option or that?" Many questions arouse but all confusing him- in the bid to satisfy the people. Confusion-sometimes it comes in form of a state of dilemma, all is to build the leaders capacity, strengthens his weaknesses. It helps him to know his strengths and weaknesses, anyways. It's in his confused state to m

Confusion is needful in everyone's life, it's in your confusion that you think and nurture many ideas. I know that by now many of you are already thinking how is confusion needful?  but you don't have to worry your head over the assertion, I'm here to explain the 'why' Alright! Confusion is most times result of mental state characterized by a lack of clear thought and orderly behaviour. Always embrace confusion. Everyday, we go out forgetting confusion because it seems we are doing fine in our work, business or career. We feel everything works

Those who limb are better than those who walk. The former will always move on a snail pace, getting composure acquaintance, master the route of their destination and being observant to the rules of the game of life, think before they make the next step, getting to their destination though late but successful; those who walk move faster than their shadows to get to their destination on time- desperadoes; Desperadoes end up with little or no success- solace at last.

Whatever you cannot do for yourself, no one else can do it for you. Success is very hard to achieve but talking of it is very easy to achieve. Determination is the key to success but the key to success is hardwork.  There is no pause in bringing new ideas but there is pause in realizing the ideas. Nothing stops you from realizing your dreams but you. In every desperate act there is always a disappointment. You can be a barrier to your success

If you were to spend a hundred years in tears why not choose to spend a thousand years in laughter? If the whole world had rejected you, don't reject yourself. Life is easy for those who can see it but for those who can't see the life call it a hard life. Your happiness is another's sorrow, in your sorrow other found happiness. Anyone who wants to take advantage of your predicament is your enemy. Your best friend is your best enemy; choose to tell him your success and see him wear a long face of jealousy. Don't depend on people for aid,  it's your time of need you discover your enemies. True friends are hard to get but false friends are everywhere. You beg to be friends with real people but deceptive people keep flocking around you. Anybody who begs you for friendship has a hidden agenda. Friends with mutual feelings are always a thousand miles away each other but friends with motive always get close because their interest is to rip off the avail

If we understood the other fellow's viewpoint- understand what he is trying to do-nine times out of ten he is trying to do right- understanding . An influencer must realize that different people are motivated in different ways. Encouragement is worthwhile to every player but then the main difference is that all players need encouragement and only some need a kick in the pant - all depends on understanding . If you treat every person you meet as if he or she were the most important person in the world, you will communicate that he or she is somebody to you- understanding

Inability to recognize and appreciate differences After leaving self centeredness learn how to respect and recognize everyone else's unique qualities. Instead of trying to cast others into your image, start to recognize and appreciate their differences. If someone else has the talent that's so great you think you don't have, why not embrace the person- together you can build your strengths and weaknesses together. Different people from different races and culture just learn what you can from them-bet you your new knowledge will help you not only to relate to them but to others. Avoid racial prejudice. I tell you you will come to realize that there are many responses to leadership and motivation- once you learn to appreciate other persons' differences. Like I always say, you can't beat the reach, so join the reach-there are benefits... Inability or failure to acknowledge similarities:  you will begin to realize that people have a lot in common- as you learn m

Barriers of understanding, as these are the core reasons; Fear factor As we know very well that fear is man's greatest enemy. FEAR - False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is evident in the places of work, as a labourer in the organization, subordinate reactions toward their superior. Such situations causes undue suspicion, lack of communication, affects the growth of organization. Some of the reasons why they do

It's true that the ability to understand others is a choice. Though I agree that some people are born with great instinct that enables them to understand how others think and feel. But in case you aren't  instinctive being, don't worry because you can still improve your ability to work with others. Nobody is weak to have the ability to understand, inspire, and be an influence peddler to others. When you choose to understand others, abide by these: Choose to understand the other person's perspective or view : other person's way of regarding situation or topics. The problem with people today is that most people don't look beyond their own experience when they are dealing with others. They see other people and events in the context of their own position, even background including circumstances. Develop personal empathy : If really you want to understand and help others, another quality which should not elude from you is personal empathy. You can agree with me

The key to understanding people is when you are able to know what people need and want - really you can influence them and impact their lives in a positive way. Certain things we need to understand about people : Everybody wants to be somebody Nobody ever cares how much you know until he knows how much you care Everybody needs somebody Everybody can be somebody when

We have to know that lack of understanding concerning others is a recurrent source of tension today- knowing that half of all the controversies and conflicts that arise among people are caused not by differences of opinion, or an inability to agree but it is by their lack of understanding for one another. So, if we could reduce the number of misunderstanding- There would be no crowd in the courts.

Understanding people is a great deal. Understanding people certainly impacts your ability to communicate with others. The biggest mistake you can make in trying to talk convincingly is to put your highest priority on expressing your ideas and feelings. Let's look at this, "what most people really want is to be listened to, respected, and understood. The moment people see that they are being understood, they become more motivated to understand your point of

Such vows as the one to be stated below is expected to come from the he or she and to be said at the appropriate time which will help them have a real- life understanding of marriage. From him to her: My commitment to you is to your concerns each day for the purpose of having the kind of marriage we both want. I realize that your love will change. I will work to maintain a high level of romance, courtship and love in our

Women don't view affection the way men do. Men can function on basis of eroticism and physical stimulation alone, that's a man can become aroused at a selfish level with any woman who is available. See also " women's view of affection ". It's easy for a man to engage in outside of love and after walks away and pretends nothing happened. But it's not same with a woman once she finishes making out with him she becomes soft, feeling stronger for him thereby becoming more emotional

Women respond to words of encouragement. A primary way to develop intimacy and affection is through language. Men should not wait until bedtime to start getting romantic. You even have to start setting the stage at the breakfast with the kind of words and loving touches. Men should also make it a habit to leave a thoughtful note. Give your wife a call during the day. Give her a hug, a kiss, a wink, and a

There are certain needs men and women have which they seek for satisfaction from their partners. Some of those needs are: Men's Needs  Urge fulfilment (priority) Recreational companionship An attractive spouse Domestic support  Admiration  With little financial assistance to build a lovely home Women's Needs " Affection " Conversation  Honesty and openness  Financial support  Family commitment Love and adoration

There is a difference between being a bride or a groom in a wedding and being a husband or wife in a marriage. Learn to commit your soul and the building of it to one who can keep it and build it as you never can. The wedding ceremony is only the beginning; it's afterward that couples face the real challenges. It's also good to know that a beautiful wedding is no indication that the marriage that follows will be beautiful. Don't let yourself to be caught by

Each day presents us with new opportunities and challenges. Maintaining our physical and mental health require countless adjustments, and how successfully we adapt depends largely on how we view our individual challenges. Stress can be said to be the wear and tear of life for which the adjustment by the individual concerned is necessitated. It's necessary to know that stress is inevitable, though it can be managed.

Kelvin, I am in need of fresh blood. I mean vibrant blood. No, smooth blood, no soft skin. What am I even saying I want loquacious young breed," Kelvin said. Though he sounded unstable in his description. "I think you are suffering from malaria, no Malaysia, I mean you need to come out of your subconscious mind," this resorted to quarrel between this two men in their late seventies.

Don't because you want to prove yourself to someone engage in dispicable acts.  Don't put your life at risk or in detriment of your joy to please others. Don't consider what people say about you, consider what you believe about yourself. Don't accept the fate of others for you; build your fate and abide by it. Don't conclude yet because of the present, envisage for a better tomorrow and make it your life conclusion. Don't disregard failure, embrace it because it's failure that gives birth to success. Don't look up to man, man fails, look up to God for He is the ultimate. Don't underestimate failure because it's failure that strengthens you to succeed. Don't wish to be someone else because you may not know that your problem is smaller than theirs. Don't join because everyone has joined; join because you find it worth joining.  You are unique and quite different from them.

Let me start by saying this, if you were going on a job interview today, what would you say is the most important skill you would need? Is it writing, to create a knockout resume? Or perhaps salesmanship, after all, isn't that what you do on an interview, sell yourself? How about charisma? As a charismatic person, you are sure of getting the job and position of your choice, I guess. Instead of that let's say you are going to spend your day recruiting, whether for business prospects or any other purposes. What skill would you need as a recruiter? Is it, discernment? An eye for talent? The ability to cast vision and get people excited? Or maybe it would be hard-nosed negotiation skills? Or let's say that your job today was to supply new ideas for your organization. What qualities would you need? Creativity? Intelligence or good education? I am not saying that you don't need them but what i am asking is, what is the number one ability you would need? Look here honey,

The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people. The ability to skillfully listen is one key to gaining influence with others. No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next. You are not learning nothing when you are doing all the talking. Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerity form of flattery. The first duty of love is to listen. Every man I meet is in some way my superior, and I can learn of him.

I found out that listening has been the most costly quality in most humans if not in every man's life. I have got to know the importance of listening: Listening shows respect. Listening reserves your dignity and pride.  Listening builds relationships. Listening increases knowledge. Listening gives you the opportunity to mingle with great people. Listening generates ideas. Listening builds loyalty.

There is link between a leader and a listener. For you to be an effective leader you must be quick to listen. Effective leaders are known by their ability to listen to the people. And effective listening requires more than hearing words transmitted. It demands that you find meaning and understanding in what is being said. I learned that, "meanings are not in words, but in people". Listen simply means to remain voiceless for the other voice to be

The two keywords are; Frustration and Stress  Frustration: Frustration refers to the state of being hindered of the set plans or effort. It's also feeling of annoyance at being hindered, this feeling is usually accompanied by experience caused by being thwarted of your set goals or objectives. Causes of frustration  Failure  Unstable government  Recession  Unemployment e.t.c Failure: failure is just a test. It's a trial of your strength, how far you can understand determines your next level of operation. But people misunderstand failure to be a tying knot, the end of life, little or no hope for success. People resorting to all kinds of evil deeds accusing failure as being responsible for their mischievous lifestyles. Many joined gangs as armed robbers, kidnappers e.t.c. Kidnapping has been the talk of the day. The mild but bluntly way of terrorizing human life. It elicited from greed and laziness. The word kidnap simply means taking away a soul in an undisclosed pl

Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort wealth, or power. Those rewards almost create as many problems as they solve. Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter, so that the world will at least be a little bit different for our having passed through it. The world should feel your presence on earth, your purpose and what you have impacted in others. Unless you have tried to do something 

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances. Everyone has an inevitable sign hanging from his neck saying, "make me feel important". One of the best way to do that is to help people remember their past successes. If you have the will to win, you have achieved half your success; if you don't, you have achieved half your failure. Never let the fear of striking out get in

It appears that most problems that arise in most marriages are basically temperamental. Here are some steps to temperament adjustment: Slam the divorce door Easy divorce has done nothing to help the longevity of marriage. I found out that as long as the divorce door remains open,  it retards the adjustment to a happy marriage. If you are a Christian, it's not a legitimate option for you. Admit to yourself that you are not perfect

At times I have nostalgic feeling about courtship. Lust and infatuation carry us away causing distraction as to disconnect our sense of reason in examining our partners. Lovemaking consciousness, eros, we seem to engage more of our time on love affair instead. This is because we forgot that when it finally results to marriage, we will not be able to deal with some of those weaknesses we earlier ignored. Because it's quite unfortunate that most of us young people after the long courtship most times we still end up with the wrong person(someone we are incompatible with). What I am saying is that we have to be more careful during " courtship " as to make the right lifetime partner, always bear in mind that it's not a hit and run affair-marriage is a more serious affair, purer than our usual boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Why we need adjustment in marriage is because of the issues that elicit from temperament and issues of weaknesses of partners. And there is ne

What is courtship? Courtship is to engage or involve in social activities leading to marriage. But one of the wrong ways people go about this courtship which is purposely meant to be sweet and sanctifying process is that the allow themselves to perceive courtship to only courting with their opposites. This has denied

Is there anything opposite than male and female? Yet they still attract each other after so many decades. In fact, the future of the race is dependent on such attraction. But unfortunately they fail to realize that their physical differences are only symbolic of the many other differences in their nature, the most significant of which are " temperaments ". Good to know, a negative is never attracted to another negative and positives repel each other in any field.

In Africa women are to be submissive and under the Supreme protection and control of her man. In Africa women are being treated as slaves by there men- " domestic violent " but I don't think that revolts of wives against their husbands can remedy this obnoxious situation. Because it has taken over as lifestyle. Sadly, men are taking their women for granted. However, this, notwithstanding, women are now bent at going extra mile, beyond the men imagination, just to retrieve and or to recover their status quo (pride of womanhood). "what a useless woman, I don't even know why I married you," Kelly said. Each time he finished beating Jennifer, he feels great of the real man he has become. This didn't last, that one day, Jennifer bumped into an old friend. She took her to one white chalk native doctor. From that day on, everything about Kelly changed. People were surprised to see Kelly do all the house chores, receiving command from his wife. His obedien

Life is ever a series of partings. The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them; a man may live long yet live very little. When you enlarge others, you help them make the most of the time they have and raise their quality of life. The great secret of success is to go through life as a man who never gets used up. To determine whether you are still growing, ask yourself what you are still looking forward to. If you can't think of anything or you are looking back instead of ahead, your growth may be at a standstill. The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. One life, a little gleam of time between two eternities; no second chance for us for ever more. Any day that passes without personal growth is an opportunity lost to improve yourself and to enlarge others. It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are. There is a price to pay to grow,  commitment is the price.