How forgiveness is golden

Forgiveness is not the denying of emotions of hurt and anger. Forgiveness does not repress and hold down feelings. Forgiveness does not pretend that everything is fine and act nice when there is really a problem. Forgiveness is very realistic. Forgiveness is honest; it doesn't hide its head in the sand thinking that difficulties will go away if they are not acknowledged. Forgiveness does not occupy the fantasy that what is unchangeable can be changed or undone. See also "facts of life and problems of life"

Again, forgiveness does not passively accept or condone unacceptable behaviour. It does not rationalize, or make excuses for the offending party. It is not a doormat for evil to continue unconfronted. Forgiveness is not afraid to exercise "tough love" and tell the truth. Forgiveness is not afraid to talk about repentance, restoration, and reconciliation. It is not an emotional umbiblical cord that allows the offending party to avoid personal responsibility. Forgiveness is not isolation from the person who has done the offending. And it does not take the attitude of superiority or piously hand out pity to the offender. Also forgiveness does not place blame or make the other person feel guilty.

Now, Forgiveness is commanded by God as an act of how we should live in harmony with others. 

Qualities of those who forgive:

• Those who forgive are humble: they try not to lord the offense over the offending party or make the person feel guilty.
• Those who forgive are gentle: they speak the truth in love with a desire to help offenders face their responsibility and grow through the experience. Being gentle and kind are acts of great courage and strength. Being gentle is a choice. Nothing is strong as gentleness; nothing so gentle as real strength.

• Those who forgive are patient: have you ever desired more patience? Patience comes from trouble. We do not need patience when everything is going our way; it is only when things are going against us that we need it. Those who forgive go through the experience of pain, hurt, and loss. It is during that time that they exercise patience toward the offending party which increases patience overall. Patience is bitter plant that had sweet fruit.
• Again those who forgive bear with one another: This entails more than putting up with others and their behaviours. It means to carry the burden imposed by others without complaint.

People who forgive let complaints roll off their backs. They endure the pain of complaint and make a choice to ignore it.

You have to know that forgiveness does not come by accident. It is a choice. It is an attitude. It is a process. It is a way of life. Forgiveness is not an emotion. If people had to wait until they felt like forgiving others, pigs would fly before it would happen.

However, forgiveness is found in the will. It is a promise; it is a commitment to three things;
—When you forgive someone, you will not use the event against them in future.
—You will not talk to others about them.
—You will not dwell on it yourself.